Mom, Dad Why?

Who else is there to help me if you don’t?

This is a true story. The names and places have been changed to protect the identity. I my experience there are many other sisters who suffer through similar domestic violence.

It was a dark cold winter night. Once again my husband came home late past midnight. I could smell liquor and cigarette on his breath. As always I got up and started to warm the dinner for him. He started to shout obscenities. Fearful that the children will wake up I tried to calm him down and brought a glass of water for him. He threw it back at me. The broken glass cut my hand that I put out to protect me. He started to take his anger out on me by hitting and punching me. The obscenities were continuing that woke both Seema and Ali. I could hear them crying in their rooms. After a few minutes of being a punching bag that seemed like hours I was bleeding profusely from my mouth and nose. My arms and chest were also hurting. I remember hearing today will be your last day on this earth. I finally had to courage to run toward the door to save myself.  My husband laughed at me again as he always did in the past saying where are you going to go? Who will help you? Go to your parents and they will send you right back to me again. I could hear him cursing both of you especially you Abu Jan calling you coward and unsupportive.


Not knowing where to go I went to my next door neighbor who could hear the scolding and abuse of my husband. Seeing that I was bleeding without any shoes or winter jacket, my neighbor asked me in and gave me wet towel to wipe the blood off my face. She also gave me her jacket and shoes to wear and offered to drive me to my parents’ home that was about half hour drive.  I was not sure what to do?  I had never told my parents or anyone else about the physical or emotional violence I was facing. The worst of it was that each time he would beat me he wanted to have marital relations with me. He would command me to clean and dress up for him. As a devoted wife I always obliged despite all the physical and emotional hurt and suffering.

On the way to your house, I couldn’t stop crying. I was worried and thinking what and how I will tell you what I happened to me that forced me to flee and how long it was going on. I remember I never wanted this wedding. My husband was well known in the whole family for his temperament and authoritative attitude. I wanted someone close to and slightly older than me not the one with thirteen years difference.  Someone that I can befriend with and enjoy life. Not being pushed around and told what I can or cannot do. My dream of continuing my teaching career was crushed when he told me I am not allowed to work. I was told my job was just to please him and serve his parents and family members.

Mom, dad I could see the dim street lights as we turned into your street. I thought of composing myself wiping tears from my face. My friend offered to come with me to the house but I said no. You should go back home to your husband and children. I am home now and should be ok. I rang the bell over and over, It seems like forever for you to open the door. I could see the surprise on your face dad when you opened the door. I started to cry and could not speak a word. Dad you stopped me at the door. Your words were more hurtful than the cursing and physical beating of my husband. “After marriage a girl’s home is where her husband is. Now that we have got you married you have to go back”. Dad how could you send me back in a taxi cab with a total stranger at two in the morning. I just could not believe that you did not even come with me, what if my husband had locked the doors and would not open. I left my house keys in my purse when I ran out of the house empty handed.  

I think a lot about what happened that dreadful night when I realized that my husband knows you better than me. I am now just spending all my energies on my children Seema and Ali. I also think about committing suicide. I have given up. I hope that one day you will realize the mistake you made by forcing me to marry the man almost double my age, without my consent and without asking him about his past, his anger and violent behavior. I ask Allah for forgiveness and mercy. 

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