Case study H2 – Self-esteem and Insecurity: Do they lead to suspicion of your spouse?

This article highlight how insecurity lead to low self esteem and suspicion.

By: Khalid Iqbal, Founder Rahmaa Institute

Case Study: Ahmed and Zulekha have been married for 5 years. Zulaikha got married immediately after graduation to Ahmed who is 15 year older than her. She landed a good job with a government contractor in public relations. Ahmed was laid off from his position as manager two years after they got married. Despite trying hard Ahmed he could only land a menial job with a security company as night watchman. Zulaikha because of her hard work and great personality was promoted quickly and was now making many times more than what Ahmed was earning. Her job requires her to respond to emails or text messages from clients during off hours and weekends. Ahmed seem to have developed a sense of insecurity and is constantly checking on her emails and text messages. He uses every opportunity to remind her that she is arrogant and not doing her duty as a wife because she makes more money than him. He also accuse her of talking to “other men” beyond what is required by the job. They constantly fight each time she has a meeting or respond to a text. It has reached a point that she has often thought of asking for Khula (divorce). Sometimes she wonder if she should leave her job, but then she thinks of her children, her career, and how will they support their house financially and maintain the lifestyle they have become accustomed to?

She loves her husband very much and wants him to feel comfortable.

Discussion Questions:
1. What you think is the real problem with the couple?
2. What would you recommend for them to resolve their issue?
3. What would you recommend Ahmed?
4. What are your recommendations for Zulaikha?
5. Should she continue with her job at the expense of her marriage?
6. If they were to discuss her job as husband and wife, how should they discuss it? Should the wife sacrifice her career for the sake of marital harmony? Will the suspicion end after she quit or you think will continue?
7. Is the age difference a factor? If yes how?
8. Should men and women not deal with people of other sex at work. Should there be a limit? If yes what should be the limit?
9. Do you know of a situation on insecurity in marriage? What was the situation?

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