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By Khalid Iqbal – Founder Rahmaa Institute
One way or another, we all communicate – especially with our spouse. Even silence communicates something. But how effective and productive is your communication? And don’t be mistaken, effective communication and productive communication are very different. Most people communicate their anger, disappointment, or other feelings effectively if they want to. But the question is, by communicating their feelings effectively – will they have a productive interaction? For couples who are having problems, the answer is usually no
FORMAT
CASE STUDY: Bilal and Farhana have been married for 4 years and do not have any children yet. Bilal works long hours and Farhana has a regular 9-5 job. Bilal usually comes home late in the evening very exhausted and like to watch TV or do stuff on the computer to unwind, and usually ends up staying later than Farhana. Farhana waits for him for dinner and sometimes feels disappointed when he says he is not hungry. She often goes to bed hungry without food and wonder if he again has stopped by his parent’s home and ate before coming home. Weekends are taken with home chores, family obligations (Both side parents live close by) and socializing with friends. Because of Bilal’s schedule Farhana now stays with her parents for 1-2 nights during the week (they live nearby). Bilal feels it reflects poorly on their marriage. So he sat with Farhana to express his expectations.
“Tahira Auntie was asking me again if our marriage is okay or are we having martial issues. The whole world is noticing that you are always at your parent’s home. I have never stopped you from going, but going 2-3 times a week is just too much. I know that my work schedule is intense but I am working hard for our future and want you to be there for me when I come back home.”
Farhana just kept quiet went into the bedroom and started to cry
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