Case study J1 Sisters Don’t Leave your Husbands for an Extended Time

By: Khalid Iqbal – Founder of Rahmaa Institute

Introduction: It is common among wives to take the children and go back home for extended period of time, sometimes for months. The loneliness and spare time at hand may lead some husbands to divulge into shameless activities to satisfy their sexual desires. The society we live in provide ample opportunities for lonely husbands to go on the path of infidelity. All names of individuals appearing in our articles, case studies, or scenarios are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

“My wife may be pretty but she is definitely not as hot as Jenny”. One husband (Azim) told me in a session with him alone.

Azim was fuming mad when he saw the note left by his wife that she is leaving and taking the kids to India to her family. Later Azim found out that that it was instigated by her elder brother after a family dispute back home, a dispute that had nothing to do Azim and his wife. Initially she was to go there for a couple of weeks to cool and let the issue simmer down. Her brother, however, insisted that Azim should come to India to get his family back after admittance and acceptance of fault by his family. Azim refused to comply. Weeks turned into months. Her children education was suffering so her family decided to register them in a local school.

Azim was extremely angry that lead him to clinical depression. He started to drink alcohol. One day in the bar he met Jenny. According to Azim much younger as compared to my wife with a beautiful body. Jenny was satisfying him sexually but from inside he was extremely hurt and unhappy.

Azim had such mixed emotions of anger, self-pity, anxiety, guilt etc. He could not handle it anymore. He ended up in hospital. There he was referred to a psychiatrist. The treatment helped him tremendously. It was at that point in his life that someone referred Azim to our institute.

After a few sessions this was one of his statement (These are not exact words of any of our client) “Do you think I am thinking of divorcing a sweet and innocent girl like my wife, mother of my children just for bodily pleasure with another woman? You have been counselling me for almost 6 months now. Please don’t make do such a heinous thing like abandoning my wife for someone else. What will I answer to Allah on the day of judgement?”

Azim was pleading for help to save him and his marriage.

Discussion Questions:
1. Where do you think the fault lies in this case?
2. Should a couple allow outside interference, and family disputes (From Bother in law in this case) interfere in personal family situation.
3. Should the wife have taken a stand and not leave her home under such circumstance?
4. Should the husband have listened to his brother-in-law just to save himself and his family and fulfilled his demands?
5. Should the husband have taken a stand and not let his wife and children leave their home?
6. Should husband be deprived of wife and family company for an extended period of time?
7. Should husband have behaved the way he did or seek help early?
8. Does alcohol create problems in personal and family life? How?
9. How their relations would be in the future life?
10. What would you advise Azim?
11. What would you advise his wife?
12. How will this incident effect children once they find out? How and who should discuss this issue with the children? When?

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